How to Value the Person, Behind The Player

Mini Conversations (1 on 1)

“I like to treat not only the players but all the people who work with me at a club, as a person”, according to Carlo Ancelotti, Everton FC Manager.

To improve the performance of a player, you must have an understanding of the person. People often have differences in psycho-social qualities, given their environments. That means, one size never fits all.

My Way or The Highway

This past fall season, I started training and coaching a U13 boys’ travel soccer team. Starting each practice was always a challenge, as balls are being kicked everywhere, boys turn up at different times and, it’s an opportunity to connect with those who attend different schools.

Time outs, sprints, and missing playing time was my script to get them in order. Did this work? Probably for that moment, but the same behavior occurred in the next practice.

Meet Them Where They’re At

Most often, your team does not consist of players you selected. Therefore, their skills and mental abilities are going to vary widely.

For you to help your players find a vision where to go, you need to understand the ‘why’ of their struggles. You need to understand what triggers their behavior. From this point, you can start supporting their needs.

To turn ‘i’s into ‘we’s you are going to have to get to know each player on a personal level.

10 Steps How To Connect With The Person

1. Avoid starting the season with rules, boundaries, and consequences.
2. Start with a questionnaire – ‘Tell me 3 things I don’t know about you?’
3. Create mini conversations (1 on 1) as often as possible.
4. Learn to listen – don’t make judgments or quick decisions
5. Create a safe environment for players to ask questions
6. Practice asking appropriate questions – How was your baseball game?
7. Find out how each person would like feedback
8. Recognize moments when your players struggle
9. Help them identify a vision – what type of player he/she wants to be.
10. Display vulnerability – show them you make mistakes too, let them evaluate you.

Person over Player

A soccer player is a person first. You need to understand he/she at the personal level to connect, understand to support their needs.

As Carlo Ancelotti described, “It’s funny if you ask a player, ‘Who are you?’, They say, ‘I am a soccer player’. No, you are a person that plays soccer”.

How do you connect with the persons on your team?